more lies about severe weather
Last night there was tornados, or is it tornadoEs? They never did decide if Dan Quayle spelt potatoes correctly...I think he just changed it over to french fries. I dunno where you come from but lately whenever there are tornados coming they wait until the tornado is right on top of you to tell you about it. Then the sirens go off after the tornado is past you. Most of the time the sirens don't go off anymore. You're never gonna hear em anyways cuz the tornado has already killed your stupid arse. I think that maybe the reason for this is that they don't want to wake up sleeping lawyers, or even worse, Godzilla. So I expect that I will either have to go in the basement everytime I think there is a tornado, or just die in it due to their laziness. I bet they'd like the second option. Then the lawyers who were asleep during the tornado, at least one of em who survived, can file a lawsuit on behalf of my dead arse.
Another thing about severe weather. Is it rude to order a pizza during a tornado? I mean it definately would be if the sirens were going off, but what if it's just one of those doppler indicated rotation things that seem to pass as a tornado in these parts nowadays?
Well, I was gonna order a pizza last night, but I decided to wait until the sirens went off then it would be meat lovers running the gauntlet between Dominos and my house! Dominoes?
A final thought on severe weather...as soon as the tornado is even mentioned, pretty, young, media career driven women are sent out to find the tornado by what seems to be supposedly wise old white weathermen. These Tornado whores are seen standing out in 2 inch hailstones reporting that they haven't seen the tornado yet but she's got a satellite truck and will keep watch until the bastard is sighted. Her hair looks like shit by this time. One day we're all gonna see her get hit by lightning live on TV and then the lawyers will all wake up and there will be much debate on the safety of sending these bimbos out into tornadoes...bimboes?
This rant brought to you by Dr. Binka's Lunatic Asylum and Riverboat Tours of Minneapolis, France...
Another thing about severe weather. Is it rude to order a pizza during a tornado? I mean it definately would be if the sirens were going off, but what if it's just one of those doppler indicated rotation things that seem to pass as a tornado in these parts nowadays?
Well, I was gonna order a pizza last night, but I decided to wait until the sirens went off then it would be meat lovers running the gauntlet between Dominos and my house! Dominoes?
A final thought on severe weather...as soon as the tornado is even mentioned, pretty, young, media career driven women are sent out to find the tornado by what seems to be supposedly wise old white weathermen. These Tornado whores are seen standing out in 2 inch hailstones reporting that they haven't seen the tornado yet but she's got a satellite truck and will keep watch until the bastard is sighted. Her hair looks like shit by this time. One day we're all gonna see her get hit by lightning live on TV and then the lawyers will all wake up and there will be much debate on the safety of sending these bimbos out into tornadoes...bimboes?
This rant brought to you by Dr. Binka's Lunatic Asylum and Riverboat Tours of Minneapolis, France...
posted by Chump at 7:34 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home