dear michelle...

Dear Michelle Buttmann (Bachmann),

Just a few lines of advice for you.

1. The economic butt would like to invite you to have sex with yourself (or Rush Limbaugh) your choice.
2. The economic butt highly doubts that you are really from Minnesota just like Norm Coleman isn't,but likes to act like he is.
3. Revolution is the last thing needed during times like this, if you were truly interested in
helping this country out of this mess (that your Grand Old Pig party) got us into? You'd be calling for us all to come together.
4. Cutris says you are a great big puss.
5. Start helping or shut your Yapper.
and lastly...
Please move to Kentucky or Alabama or wherever it is you came from because you are an embarrasment to all Minnesotans.

Sincerely,
The Economic Butt

How not to say the presiden't name

Whats up with people not saying the president's name right?

I am hearing alot of lazy media types saying "Presdent Brockabama" It's not Brock, OK?, Brock is the name of a steroid pumped wrestler, or some 70's TV detective that died from aids in the 80's.

But worse of all? The Brits. Bear-ack? Did you just say Bear and then Ack?
What if I called your queen Lizbet? Huh? You'd have a bloody fit.

No more Bear Acks...or is it Axe?

Bear-Ack Ohbama and Queen Liz-Bet will be appearing live tonight at the Royal Al-Butt Hall...

Interstellar Traveler, Zimbobian Translation Guide
April 28, 2006 (17›>13".= Zimbob local time)
Blue Planet, Informational Only
Interstellar Traveler, Authored by Moopak


Zimbobian Translation Guide:

Tarpot – equivalent to approximately one earth hour
Zimbob- the galaxy where Moopak originates from, sort of
Inbloop- the general term for flower
Hop-Hop- a Zimbobian creature similar to an earth creature known as a "bumble bee"
Brightball- the star that is very near the Blue Planet (with white swirlies)
Dimball- a small moon orbiting the earth
Blackvoid- outer space
Farimba- a radio wave transceiver capable of 3 way communication and other stuff too
Thermolulator- a device used to transform Moopak into other objects
Fribyon- posterior area, in other words, ass, buttocks, buns, etc.
Voltar- an electrical pulse
Voltar Highways- power lines
Stampars- poles that hold up the power lines above the surface
Amplars- batteries
Awooh- pain
Kowplots- not really sure what the hell it is, but it sounded cool
Shpoklab- digital camera
RPM- a digital picture
Mukmak- a common intergalactical space language used for communications between disimilar species of space travelers
Fagbank- Green Bay, Wisconsin
Calforn- by far the wierdest planet in the Zimbobian System, perhaps in the entire Blackvoid…
Exoplasmic Inhibitor- an electronic energy shield
Arfblat- a scientific creature that invented the Exoplasmic Inhibitor, also a good friend of Moopak, he's sorta like Moopak's controller/advisor, simply put, he's got Moopak's back.
Floog Depot A-10- a scientific station where Arfblat works and a place where Moopak has spent many tarpots
Alpha-Blataz- where Farve was born, the most distant outpost in the Zimbobian System.
Hawchoo- the equivalent of a sneeze
C4 Circuits- the main control circuits, governing thought and motor activity
C5 Circuit- general reproductive circuitry
C7 Circuits- the circuits in the butt region (aft)
C8 Circuits- aint been invented yet, but Arfblat is working on it, will probably be installed remotely once approved for beta testing
Aidband- bandaid duh
New Jersey- a place on earth, kind of dumpy
Gravita- misspelled gravity
Blipblap- equivalent to "over and out" or "signing off"
Tailwagger- a dog
Flim- about 3 inches

Interstellar Traveler, Moopak Enters The Grid

April 25, 2006 (13›>13".8 Zimbob local time)
Blue Planet (with white swirly condensation instances)
Interstellar Traveler, Moopak Reporting

There are always some risks involved when entering an unknown grid for the first time. One of the most common accidents is where one enters the grid with an amplar not fully charged. Combine this with the fact that I have not entered a grid in a million tarpots so I am way out of practice. Of course I had an accident…

Don’t get me wrong, it’s always fun when entering a grid. I don’t know which I like better, the getting sucked in part or the getting ejected out part. One things for sure, it doesn’t last long enough!

I entered the grid at this point.


I know, a pretty typical looking station when looking at it. The nearer I got, I could feel the rush of the voltars moving damn near at the speed of light. I engaged the Thermolulator and I was sucked into the grid with a sudden whoosh. Kids, do not try this at home!

Well if you remember I had drained one of my amplars while trying to talk to Trudy. So I entered the grid in a compromised state. Naturally, an accident occurred. Instantly my C4’s and C7 got seperated, occasionally this happens when the C5 interferes with the truncated aft stabilizers. My C4’s ended up in a place called Washington DC and I had no clue where my C5 and Fribyon ended up being ejected. I managed to make contact with Arfblat on my Farimba after the incident (my amplars were succesfully recharged in the grid). After retoning his toner, he managed to locate my Fribyon and more importantly, my C5. Turns out my Fribyon and my C5 ended up someplace called San Franscisco.

Arfblat still hasn’t pinpointed the exact location but he is working on finding my ass. I have decided to wire Trudy some Inbloops as I already miss her. Man I feel good, but I won’t be able to do much until my circuits are all in one location!

My initial impression is that I have much work to do in this place called Washington.

Blipblap,

Moopak

Interstellar Traveler, Moopak Gets Pissed
April 23, 2006 (11›>13".2.89(0) Zimbob local time)
Blue Planet (with white swirly condensation instances)
Interstellar Traveler, Moopak Reporting

Well I didn’t get much shut eye since my last report. After a while, an object appeared above, it was a Dimball. It was very still and I had just powered down my C4’s and suddenly I kicked out of power-save mode. At first I didn’t know what to think. I almost fried my C7 circuitry from the shock. I was visited by a quad-pedal creature similar to a Tailwagger. The creature stopped about a Flim from me and situated itself into a tri-pedal. It then proceeded to spray me with a foul liquid which I found very distressing. It then transformed itself back into a quad-pedal and motored away very clumsily. I am still analyzing this event…

Once the Dimball completed it’s low arc and settled down behind the horizon, the Brightball came back, slowly at first. Now it is shining brilliantly. I was soon visited by a Hop-Hop. I found this very stimulating at first, I tried to make contact with it using my Farimba. Well to make a long story short, I ended up using way too many voltars and drained one of my amplars in the process. I ended up spending the better part of a tarpot trying to convince the Hop-Hop to stop trying to fly up my Fribyon!

I did learn that the Hop-Hop’s identity is Bee# 34,593,201, female worker unit, from the Lombardi Street Hive (located under a grass pile in some guy’s yard near Lambo Field). I just call her Trudy. I think she likes me. I shall miss her soft buzzing around my C5, but I have a lot of work to do.

Though I still smell bad, I did manage to complete my raincheck. If all goes well, I will soon engage the Thermolulator and attempt to insert myself into the grid.

Blipblap,

Moopak

Interstellar Traveler, Hard Landing For Moopak

April 23, 2006 (11›>13".2.86¾ Zimbob local time)
Blue Planet (with white swirly condensation instances)
Interstellar Traveler, Moopak Reporting

The Blackvoid has now shrouded itself over the Blue Planet. It reminds me of how the Kowplots used to cloak the Chocolate Mountains on the planet Calforn, where I existed briefly in my youth. Pardon my reminisc…

Before the Brightball went away, I managed to recalibrate my Shpoklab and created an RPM (refracted pixelation module) of my position and appearance. I am disguised as the orange colored Inbloop, you can clearly see the Hop-Hop on top of my head.

RPM Copyright 11›>13". - Moopak, Inc.

I have learned that the place I have landed is called Green Bay. Translated into Mukmak, Green Bay is pronounced "Fagbank" (or Farve in Swahili), meaning "Land Of Cheese and Intergalactic Flatulence". I learned of the name of this place from a being named KFAG, 1040 A.M. Green Bay. I picked up the beings broadcast on my Farimba. It has not responded to any of my hailing messages as of yet. I continue to bounce my signals off the white swirly instances and remain hopeful of reply.

It also has become apparent in the past few Tarpots that I must have landed pretty hard. The gaseous movement having ceased after the Brightball went away, I now can feel the C7 circuitry in my Fribyon pulsating, this is causing me considerable Owooh. Microeclectic re-calibration went Ok, but I might need to move soon as I’m sure you are all very aware from experience, this will not suffice as it is merely a short-term Aidband.

In the interim, I have detected traces of Voltars traveling in long black snake-like strings that are hung on Stampars everywhere around my vicinity. I believe these to be Voltar highways and if so, I will be able to travel the Blue Planet with impunity while simultaneously recharging my Amplars. This would be both convinient and economic if my theory holds true.

I may initiate insertion into the grid in a while, but I need to complete a rain check prior to attempting this. I have not prepared myself for this yet as I have been staring upwards for half a tarpot. I cannot quite visibly locate Zimbob and I find that I cannot stop myself from trying. I think I will power down my C4 circuitry for a few tarpots of rest before I begin my raincheck.

As I conclude this report, I find myself missing the Hop-Hops, they have now gone away with the Brightball.I became quite fond of them earlier and hope they return soon. Perhaps when the Brightball returns?

Blipblap,

Moopak

Interstellar Traveler, Moopak’s Initial Report

April 22, 2006 (10›>13".2.86¼ Zimbob local time) Post-exoplasmic Insertion, Blue Planet (with white swirly condensation instances) Interstellar Traveler, Moopak Reporting

I have arrived and inserted myself within a green region on the Blue Planet (with white swirly, etc). My journey has lasted many tarpots and it is now good to be stationary. It took me a while to get my planet legs again, but I am now somewhat moderately stable if the gaseous movement does not increase it’s velocity. Very slow moving, shiny flying devices fired their deathrays at me on my descent, I am pleased to report that the new Exoplasmic Inhibitors worked very well affording me complete protection from the futile hostility. I shall file an official performance report with Arfblat at Floog Depot A-10 once I can safely make contact on my Farimba.

I have engaged my Thermolulator and have formed my being into the shape of a multi-colored Inbloop. Since remaining stationary until my planet legs regain stability, I have been vistied by several buzzy striped flying Hop-Hops. They do no harm to me, but they leave a sticky yellow colored powder on my exterior. This does not seem to be harmful as far as I can tell, but tends to make me Hawchoo.

In this form I wait. As I speak this, I have been observing liquid drops falling from above. I have determined that these fall from the white swirlies above as the gravita must pull them down somehow. These objects dance when striking hard surfaces and they dissipate if landing upon the softer green bladed standing beings or the brownish ground matter. I have tried speaking to these phenomena, but they do not respond. They have all now gone to where they go. I shall stand watch for their return and continue my observations.

There is no sign yet of Unglip. My kind have informed me that Unglip has been reporting from a similar planet. Unglip is of my kind, but we are not related as I was assembled on Tarmac-8 in the Zimbob System, near outpost Alpha-Blataz. I believe Unglip was made in New Jersey, but I am not sure.

Of course it is entirely possible that he is standing right next to me as another Inbloop or he could be somewhere half way across the Blackvoid. If I see him, we shall have much to share, if not, I assume I will have more to report when the Brightball reappears.

Happy Action Fun Pants

Its just super fun to say that. Has no relevance to this post. It seems that alot of people with numbers behind their generic names like my blog. But ya see I know these aren't people. They are machines, simple binary code bouncing around from blog to blog messing up peoples lives. What the hell was I going to say? I ferget...