The Tax Lady

I let the tax lady in this morning. The house was trashed! I was standing in the kitchen in my pajamas making coffee and I asked her to come back in an hour so's I could straighten things up but she wasn't having any of it...so's she went thru the messy house while I'm grinding my coffee beans. Before she went in the basement, she asked if there were any pets down there. I said nope. Had I had any coffee in me I would have warned her about the cougar. Good thing he was asleep under a pile of dirty laundry, if he had woke up she'd a shit a pile of flourescent nacho doritos.

I think she thought that if she gave me an hour I would have hid all the remodeling I have done since 1992? What a job...wandering thru people's filthy houses raising their taxes?

Blame, Obscurity and The Having Of Cows

It's 6am...It's 6 am... wait a second It's 6:01 and we're having morning Tornados.
All the weather bimbos are asleep and the cougar is out in the woods smelling like
a wet cougar. Of course Dad and I were supposed to take the boat out fishing this morning
for the first time in 5 years, and it rains. Life is really dumb at times. Financially plan my future?
Hahahahahahahahaha it would rain every day!

I was going to write about who was to blame for my lack of fame but in the end, as
it was pointed out to me, we're all better off in obscurity. So obscurity is probably the
biggest reason for my not being famous, but believe me, each and every one of you
gets a share of the blame. This being said...and I'm not unreasonable...you owe me
nothing.

Well I feel better now, which leads me to the "Having Of Cows" or "A Cow". Sometimes I
have a cow over things, like, dumbasses who sit in the left lane and do not signal a left turn until they get right up to the intersection. This usually makes me flip out. That's why they do it too, either that or they are just plain stupid. But I'm not gonna have a cow right now, I am just gonna have coffee and contemplate all the other stuff.

I wonder if the cougar likes fireworks?

Fame

Today I'd like to address something that has always seemed to escape me...FAME

Since I don't have one of those fancy, irritating music playing things on here, I ask that you go ahead (and maybe you already have) and start playing David Bowie's 'Fame' in your mind's jukebox. If you don't have one of these, stop reading this now and go put yourself on report!
Okay are ya grooving? I am.
Everytime I think I am about to become famous, or feel that I am nearing fame, I find that I am nowhere even close to becoming famous. This has been the story of my life. I am afraid as I approach my Golden Years (huh huh get it? change the song in ya head), that I will not even recognize that I am famous when it finally happens...
Of course I am afraid of alot of things, like, cougars and tornados, but I already covered these in previous posts.
So you may be asking yourself why I am not yet famous? I will address this in my next post which will be entitled "BLAME". For now, I am off to poke the governor with a big stick...

Didinya just love the cougar chow ad?